How many times are you going to be tossed around in life? Torn down just when you thought you almost had everything. Most of our lives we spend in the “middle ground” of life, trying to juggle self-improvement as well as have a little bit of fun in the moment. Thinking that we can live in moderation of both good and evil without ever having to choose. Where do we find ourselves eventually? Rock bottom. Every. Time. But when you find yourself broken and cold. Maybe you thought that you were handling everything so well for so long. You had that good job, you had found love, and you were on top of the world. But one day you lose it all. To faults of your own or outside forces but in the end it’s both. You find that when you have nothing else, you still have yourself. Then you realize that maybe you aren’t as good of a man as you thought you were. You’re not as mentally strong, emotionally intelligent, physically fit, or just as strong as you thought. Falling into a hole of depression and self-loathing because we were not prepared for the storm that we knew that life would hurl at us. We see men at this point in their life and our first reaction is to feel bad. Don’t. Because this pain, this fear of things becoming worse, the regret of not doing the simple things that could have changed everything, the emotional turmoil when their inner voices are tearing him apart because he wants to give in to just “try to feel better” and party and drink and chase girls that are going to take advantage of him. But the real man inside him knows that now is not the time to give up or give in. The rest of him wants to become better so that he will not cause or be the recipient of this kind of pain again. So that he could be worthy of love and respect from himself again. That he could have everything again, but better. Because he will be strong enough, successful enough, intelligent enough, loving enough to create and support a greater future.

How much better of a friend, a lover, a family member, a man would you be if you were your best self?

Look at yourself. Are you in pain? Good. That pain is the greatest motivator in life that will make you decide that you will NOT fail yourself as you have. That you will NOT fail your loved ones and put those same tears back into their eyes. If you’ve lost your family, a lover, your friends, and you feel the urge to crawl to them and beg for them to take you back as you are now. Don’t. You haven’t changed a thing. You only wish for things to go back because in your mind you think how you felt better than you did now when things were as they were. Think, how much better could you support those ones that you love and will love, if you are your best and more successful self? How much more could you love, even more than you have, if you loved yourself too. How much more could you support, if you had the wealth (not only monetarily) to support yourself and them too? We accept the pain of loss, as it marks the end of an era just as it marks the beginning of a brand new. We will stop at nothing to create the best future for ourselves but as well as for the people and things which we love. In the name of love, we will be the best that we could possibly be. So that when we return, we will love more. Support more. Be the man in the lives of the people that we love that can be trusted. You will be worthy. What does it take? True dedication. Understanding that you will suffer. That things will become worse before they become better, but the only way to stop that pattern is by starting now and allowing all this pain and hardship to forge you. Take the lessons that life is teaching you. If you lived life without struggle, you would look back at age 70 and realize you never really lived. This. Is. Life. Embrace it. It is so beautiful.

Loss and a Gentleman’s Journey

Introduction

Life has a way of tossing us around, tearing us down just when we think we almost have everything. Many of us spend our lives in the “middle ground,” juggling self-improvement while trying to have a little fun in the moment. We believe we can live in moderation of both good and evil without ever having to choose. But where do we eventually find ourselves? Rock bottom. Every time.

The Fall

You find yourself broken and cold, realizing that maybe you weren’t handling everything as well as you thought. You had that good job, found love, and felt on top of the world. But one day, you lose it all, whether due to your own faults or outside forces. In the end, it’s a combination of both. When you have nothing else, you still have yourself, and you realize you may not be as good of a man as you thought. You’re not as mentally strong, emotionally intelligent, physically fit, or just as resilient as you believed.

The Pain

This fall leads to a hole of depression and self-loathing because you were not prepared for the storm that life inevitably hurls at us. We often see men at this low point and feel bad for them. But this pain, this fear of things getting worse, the regret of not doing the simple things that could have changed everything, and the emotional turmoil are necessary. The real man inside knows that now is not the time to give up or give in. Instead, he wants to become better so he will not cause or be the recipient of such pain again. He wants to be worthy of love and respect from himself and others.

The Transformation

Look at yourself. Are you in pain? Good. That pain is the greatest motivator in life, pushing you to decide that you will NOT fail yourself as you have before. You will NOT fail your loved ones and put those same tears back into their eyes. If you’ve lost your family, a lover, or your friends, and you feel the urge to crawl back to them and beg for their return as you are now—don’t. You haven’t changed a thing yet. You only wish for things to go back because you think you felt better than you do now when things were as they were.

The Future

Think about how much better you could support those you love if you were your best and most successful self. How much more could you love, even more than before, if you loved yourself too? How much more could you support if you had the wealth (not only monetarily) to support yourself and them too? We accept the pain of loss, as it marks the end of an era and the beginning of a brand new one. We will stop at nothing to create the best future for ourselves and for the people and things we love. In the name of love, we will be the best we can possibly be.

Dedication

What does it take? True dedication. Understanding that you will suffer and that things will become worse before they get better. But the only way to stop that pattern is by starting now and allowing all this pain and hardship to forge you. Take the lessons that life is teaching you. If you lived life without struggle, you would look back at age 70 and realize you never really lived. This is life. Embrace it. It is so beautiful.